NBC's Brian Wilson is doing it, MTV is doing it, and nearly every magazine you can find on the newsstand is doing it. I think it might be time for How to Avoid The Bummer Life to do it as well.
Welcome ladies and gentlemen, young and old. Sit down and take a gander at 2008 as only we can bring (remember) it.
2008 was the year of the prank. You might remember this fake grocery list that JMac, Demonika, TinaB and I drafted, then deftly left in a grocery cart. We then had TinaB sneak around the store behind our marks in an attempt at snapping off a shot of them reading it.
Or for another example, the debut of the aero trike at the 2008 Tour of California prologue;
And lest we forget the cultural importance of the photo bomb;
This was the year that Cory Worthington showed the world that he ruled more than they do;
It was also the year that Danny Summerhill and the fire fighter girl from the Tia Tequila show proved that they are actually the same person;
Tyler and Mario ro-sham bo-ed to see who got to ride in the front seat, and Tyler lost;
and in an attempt to stay competitive in the burgeoning 'urban cycling' market, Swobo introduced our new line of shoes.
Geez.. Just thinking about this year is getting me all inspired to dig even deeper into what went down, which is probably a good thing cause I don't remember starting this post, let alone any events or occurrences during said previous year.
I can recall however that Red Fang reinvented rock and roll. Have you purchased their EP yet?
Maybe you ought to.
Two 'World' single speed events happened, both of which I attended, both of which I suffered in, and both of which I emerged with a lock on the title of 'the fastest of the slowest bike racers IN THE WORLD'.
Rob Sears, formerly of the Retrotec team, and all around nice guy passed on from this mortal coil in 2008 leaving behind a lot of people who cared very deeply for him, and a legacy that wont ever be forgotten;
I think this passing year found me traveling more than I ever have before, some of which was work related, and some of which was not, however all of the tales from the road eventually found themselves being laid out here before you. Oregon, Illinois, Minnesota, New York, Nevada, Colorado.. Were there others? I cant quite remember.. Like I said, the recalling part of my grey matter is a wee bit broken..
Um... Oh, I know.. 2008 was a year for bands to reunite and rekindle the long snuffed flame of the rock and/or roll, a few examples of which are Lucy's Fur Coat,
Though peeing on myself is no scientific anomaly, this recently published article pertaining to a newly discovered parasitic fungus from the Wired blog most certainly is.
At some point over the course of 2008, a fellow Named Joe Lumbroso put this film together about Puppy O'Shaughnessy who it should be noted appears to have been like the Kaiser Sose of the bike messenger world.
Bicycle related competitions sprung up everywhere, the most culturally significant of which was the famed hotdog hill climb;
I spent an awful lot of time injured. Whether it was from doing something rad, or doing something stupid, like pinching a nerve in my neck while getting smashed into a big backpack;
In San Francisco, a small group of individuals conceived and gave birth to a baby called The Soil Saloon, and because of that, the face of urban mountain biking will never be the same again.
In regards to that, really the only question of any relevance that you might need to ask yourself is "are you man enough"?
In the dank darkness of my garage, this year I finally made the mistake of my wrenching career and in a fit of exhaustion and excitement, cut the steerer on my custom Soulcraft 'Dirtbomb' too short, (hence the Alpha Q in this shot), but all was saved when Sean made me a newer and better fork which I installed promptly after removing my head from my ass.
Of course we all are well aware of the historical event that took place in November when the voters turned out in record numbers to help elect Barack Obama as the 44th president of The United States of America, but what I thought was also completely unprecedented was the support seen within the ranks of the bicycle underworld, what with spoke cards, and of course the various incarnations of Obama inspired bikes.
2008 also saw the Beijing Olympics come and go, during which time, the athletes wore protective masks, a BMX track was built that was absolutely insane, a mountain bike race happened that surprisingly didn't suck, and Polish table tennis phenom, Natalia Partyka stole my heart;
and a decidedly more attractive version of me made the cross scene;
Locally we saw the implementation of the anomaly known as 'Signhenge' erected, which ultimately was recently done away with;
* As I previously mentioned, 200 pounds of man love + a digital camera in the pocket + a little bit of beer and rough housing = a broken camera. No 'after' picture for you.
George and and his gang of warm hearted thugs reminded us on a regular basis through 2008 just how fun avoiding a bummer life could be;
Also, do you all remember a couple weeks ago when I mentioned that our friend Steve Rex had recently been very seriously injured in a bike crash, and that they were going to raffle off one of his bikes to help and cover the medical costs? Well according to this article that Robert Ives just sent to me, thanks to you all, they did a little better than just covering the cost of the bike.
And by 'a little', I mean alot.
Steve's still got a long recovery ahead of him, but just knowing that he has such an incredible support system I would imagine will make it go along a little more smoothly.
Anyway, moving on.. As the sun is setting on this year, our friends at Cog Magazine have finally wrapped up their new photo annual, which if you haven't taken steps to procure one of, there is no time like the present because supplies are sure not to last. (Photo courtesy of Cog Log Lab.)
Aside from all of the aforementioned rigamarole, seemingly everywhere you looked there were bicycle related events- Gold sprints, alleycat races, mountain bike races, road races, cross races, bike parties, urban bicycling celebrations and just in general, a remarkable number of folks opening their eyes to the benefits of riding a bike and their complete emersion in our culture.
I could go on and on, but you were there. You experienced it in all three dimensions, whether here on The Bummer Life, or within the four walls of your own worlds.
But that was then, and this, as they say, is now.
I would like to mention that I genuinely appreciate each and every one of you who've help to make a mark here on our little weblog, and I look forward to much more of the same.
Here is to 2009 holding all of the goodness that 2008 contained and more.
Lets you and I walk hand in hand into the golden future, and get radtarded for a brand new 365 days.
By now I'm sure you're all familiar with Post Secret. Well, if you weren't before, then you are now. It shines a spotlight not only on this sorely underrated form of communication, but on the postcard as a vessel for the unmentionable.
Over the Christmas holiday I received quite a few postcards, and not that any of them contained confidential ruminations, but it kick started my thinking back on a long standing love affair for this particular medium.
Long ago Tall Matt mentioned how he for years had been the recipient of postcards from Mr. Black Socks, and how at some point he would like to compile a book of the samples, then upon hearing this I took to writing Mr. Black Socks as well. Around that same time, and probably two years before I even laid eyes on the one formerly known as Hurl, we too began corresponding with the postcards.
Eventually a whole network began taking place, the general idea of which was eventually documented in Andy Jenkin's book "I Check The Mail Only When I'm Certain It Has Arrived", a book of letters and postcards from people he did not yet know.
Though Andy's book only skimmed a distant edge of our immediate circle of correspondences (he printed a letter from a guy who was in a band from Kansas City that was sent from my house while they were staying with me, and I had periodically sent Andy postcards as well), it proves the necessity of actual mail (as opposed to email) just as far as the organic physicality of it is concerned.
Anyway, I bring all of this up simply as a preface to my showcasing a few samples that I have kept over the years. Some were from people I'm personally connected with, and some were not. Some are chock full of profanity, and again, some are not, but all of them were drafted with the express purpose of conveying a momentary thought, idea, or feeling and really, I suppose that is what means the most to me about each of them.
This selection is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of the quality and the quantity of cards I've got sitting beside me at my desk, but they all capture a specific moment in time of my life, as well as the senders, and thats what makes me love them the most.
Now I'm sure a good number of you have the address where I spend my days, as well as a pen and a hunk of cardboard, so get cracking.
You know what to do.
I can almost totally promise that I will reciprocate.
*Also it should be noted that over the break, my digital camera was destroyed, so an actual Christmas break post will be delayed, if it happens at all.
Thanks for your understanding and consideration on this matter..*
Firstly, from your friends at Swobo, and Zoltron, season's greetings, and what not.
To commemorate the next few days, I'll throw some randoms up that Ive been sitting on for your enjoyment.
First up, my man in the trunkettes has taken photobombing to a whole new level;
From The Bike Punk we got a shot entitled "sure, why the hell not?"
Then, a little while later Sarah wrote;
"Re: Two kinds of fans-
One has so much game that it makes his long curled rat-tail seem sexy. (Heraclio is an employee at my work, this shot taken at our holiday party for Sports Basement)
The other pic is so retarded that I refuse to believe this person lives in SF, and makes me embarrassed to be an American. (shot taken in the Richmond district-maybe the midwest of San Francisco?)"
I like Heraclio. He's got that whole "what? Me worry?" thing going, and as far as that car is concerned, I'm not going to go into it cause you guys will send me 'bah humbug' emails and call me Scrooge and stuff, and I just cant take that.
I'm very fragile around this time of year.
Anyway, moving on..
Here is a shot that CFO sent me last Spring of Tomac racing Flanders.
Uh, just to clarify.. the shot was sent to me last Spring, not taken. Duh?
Yeah, duh.
Say what you will about the man, but Tomac is a legend in every sense of the word.
And speaking of which, I will once again shoot off the flare for a call to arms for the 'Joe Parkin has nice hair, and A Dog in a Hat commemorative bike ride'. It's looking like it will be happening on Saturday, Febuary 7th, but concrete details will follow once I find out what Joe's scalp treatment schedule is.
It promises to be a fairly enjoyable, somewhat painful, and marginally star studded event.
Now it's time to make yourself a cup of tea, put your feet up, don your fez, and take in The Kaptain's Korner;
"...When one well runs dry, another taps a spring.
After seeing Stevil's previous post, I ask the question: Is there really ever a bad time to insert Slayer into a conversation or a situation? I really don't think so. Here in Portland, we're iced over and there's snow on the ground. Everything about getting around this town, since it's completely unprepared to deal with any arctic type weather, is treacherous. So, as I avoid my front brake like the plague, and see the panic stricken faces of other riders and motorists.......why not think of Slayer? I'll just hum this while making my way around. See? It fits!
I'm coming to realize that the whole world can, if you let it, incorporate Slayer in everyday comings and goings. And by goings I mean this.
So, if you find yourself with a case of the holiday blues, or just some general malaise, just dial up a little Slayer and get it going. Because you like to party."
I don't know about you, but I'm picking up what The Kaptain's laying down.
Now John sent this next email to me in May. It's been sitting in my inbox waiting for a proper time in which to bring it out and try it on.
- Might as well be today;
"Hey Stevil,
Check out the latest in high fashion cycling clothing, suitable for messengering, racing, or just casually cycling down to the river for a picnic and, perhaps, a leisurely punt down the river with your sweetie.
My question is: Which Swobo bike should I ride to best complement the attire?
Best Regards,
John"
To answer your question, the best Swobo bike to ride while sporting that get up would most definately be all of them.
At once.
Oh, and you know I'd rock the hell out of one of those kits.
Especially The Stripe.
For that matter, that probably would be the gang colors of my crew, 'The Dandies'.
Our name might be soft, but our blades are cold, our spirits are hard, and we'll drink our half caf, double frap, low fat crapachinos out of these;
Across hill and dale you'll hear people say. "don't mess with The Dandies. They'll cut you, and then probably cry about it."
Ok, I'm pinching this one off. At this point you all are all blown out on Uncle Charlie's egg nog anyway.
We hope that everybody has a safe and sane Festivus, and well catch you some more as the days go by.
At this point, I don't really know what kind of schedule I'll be keeping on this piece, but I may take a couple days off and catch you all on Monday.
Monday is upon us, but that shouldn't bring us down.
Hearing my plea and expressed concerns regarding my lack of free time, Bobo stepped up his game and snail mailed in a contribution.
That is to say, I didn't have to simply cut and paste his contribution, but rather I scanned, and transfered it here for you all to experience.
Bobo writes;
Firstly, I know I laid bacon as a topic to rest a couple of weeks ago, but seeing as I have such a soft spot for real, honest to god mail I had to include Bobo's contribution.
It's just so perfectly organic.
Secondly, I too attended the previously mentioned event, and if I remember correctly, there was a substantial amount of pre-race vomiting, and Robert Ives and I continued our established tradition of crashing Leroy out in the final moments of competition, once again snagging victory from our nemesis's weathered claws.
Also, if memory serves, (which at this point is a near impossibility) while marking the course on the previous evening with 'Walk For a Cure' signage, the race organizers were confronted, and then chased cross-country by some opponents of our ilk in their Datsun Z-28, but only Blanco and Pawz would know for sure.
While we're on the topic of food stuffs as body tonic however, I should also include this link that Nick sent in. Burger chain markets meat scent.
Man, that's just nasty.
Hey, you know, it's almost that day when folks exchange gifts and there are a couple of individuals out there that are involved in the process of hand making items that might make of ideal last minute gift ideas. First up, Mike writes;
"I know, I know: It's canned ham, but hey I am busy. I got a bunch of canvas messenger bags and have been painting them. I sent out a mass email to my 5hundred cyber pals on facebook and have sold a lot already. Here is said message:
I'm drawing a blank here. What are those things that everyone has to carry their stuff, while actually paying to endorse certain companies? ... Not wigwams, what are they called? Bags. Right. bags. So I make bags and as you can see they are totally rad..
Would you like to be rad? Not sure if you are rad or not and just want to be on the safe side? Well buy a bag from me stupid! As an added bonus, if you buy one now I will promise to think good thoughts about you for 19 seconds upon reciving your money. Yes, I swear I'll dedicate nearly one-third of a minute to thinking "Man, (your name here), is cool. I hope everything in his/her life goes well because he/she really derserves it. Sincerely, all the best wishes to him/her."
On top of that you can tell everyone that you and I are friends and I gave you the bag for free. If they don't believe you and wonder why I never call to hang out with you, tell them we are facebook friends and to STFU already.
In addition to the bags in this album I can paint any image or text in any of my other art albums:
Obviously I didn't include a shot of one of his bags, simply because you know I have a thing for the Danzig skull.
Also, that's pretty bold of Mike to offer up his phone number for the interweb, so no crank calls, alright?
Hey Mike, is your refrigerator running?
If you would simply like to shoot the old bean an email, he can be found here- mikefriedb@aol.com.
Next up, an email from Ted;
"My work at Occidental Mfg. in Sebastopol continues to keep me busy but we've had to layoff people - which is never fun.
Which brings me to my request: All I'm asking is for you to consider, just consider, as the holidays are coming, buying something from the company I work for. They are a family owned business that makes all-American made, high quality goods. I really care for the people and the products they make and I hate to see them hurting in this economy.
No one asked me to write this letter, I just want to see things get better and the economy improve. So why not start locally huh?
Occidental Mfg. is best known for it's tool belts but we make a fun children's toolbelt and also some nice adventure bags, man-bags, bags for laptops, luggage etc.
So there you go. If you're anything like me, and are finding yourselves mere hours away from gift exchange day with nothing to give and a mighty penchant for hand-made goods, there are some 11th hour ideas for you.
And I wouldn't be worth my weight in shameless promotion if I didn't include this.
Of course, should you be in the market for something for you old pal Stevil, don't worry your pretty little heads, as I've found a ready-made gift for me right here, but then again, as I am unable to tell time or read Roman Numerals, presenting me with a pocket watch wouldn't be that different than giving me fake chest hair, or really for that matter, one of these.
At this point, I'd like to offer thanks to CX Magazine's own Lauren Haughey for this weeks header shot.
She's got a sharp eye, that one does.
Well, it might make you happy to know that this weekend I was able to plot a course for the upcoming
I tested it out and aside from nearly freezing my boys off, it had everything you could want. Dirt climbs, bumpy descents, ice, deer bounding across the road in front of you, some of this, and some of this and most likely at the end, french fries and mayonnaise. A road bike is not required, and for some sections, probably not recommended, but if you're tough like Tchmil, you can handle it. Otherwise, run your cross bike, run your touring bike, hell...for that matter, run your fixie. As long as it's skinny and 700, I don't care what you ride.
Oh yeah, there also is no complaining allowed, so Complayna might just wanna sit this one out.
Anyway, I'm looking at some time shortly after the first of the year, so keep tuned in here for more details.
Now as the curtain draws to a close we'll include an email from Mike;
"Stevil
Long time listener, first time caller. Love the show. So we got clobbered friday morning with too much snow to go to work so I sat down on the couch and watched an episode of the History Channel's "dogfights." I thought of you when they told the story of the legend of the old 666. Here's a link for you. I won't recite the whole thing here, but I will tell you that it involves a ragtag group of undisciplined war pilots, a modified bomber with extra machine guns, death, heroism and one of the most decorated flights in WW2 history. It also involves the number 666, which I understand that you're fond of.
Also, since I understand this site may involve bikey goodness sometimes, here is a glamour shot of my ride parked up against a nice snowbank in the driveway to remind you that you should be very happy that you live in California. Of course, bombing through snow on a bike is a pretty good time. Stay warm out there.
-mike
milwaukee, wi"
Some bad things happened aboard old 666, I suspect..
I would also guess that the fate of the plane is unknown because it was swallowed back up into the pit of Hell by Satan himself, or possibly suffered a worse fate and got turned into some over priced pieces of furniture.
I also told Mike that his photo made my chilly ride on Saturday seem downright balmy in comparison.
I count my blessings where I can.
Lastly, I'm gonna go ahead an officially declare that the track bike kids- call them hipsters, call them fakengers, or call them fellow cyclists, have now set their sights on cross.
You've heard it here first.
On that note, here we are yet again, on the business end of the work week.
Fly right, with no complaining and we'll get through this together.
Firstly, for those of you who are unfamiliar with Depakote, it's a medication that treats Bipolar Disorder, migraines, Epilepsy, possibly hair loss, and it sucks total balls.
I know this as I was put on it for a short stint after I found the dead guy. Anyhow, all of this is simply to preface the introduction of the Keirin video game that Zach turned me on to.
As I mentioned on 'Guys', it kinda made me do that thing the Simpsons did, when they watched the Japanese robots.
What is it with Japanese media that causes ol' round eye to convulse so?
Recently Danny B turned me on to a blog done by all around nice guy and former professional skateboarder Max Schaff, which if you're into hand built choppers, might be right up your alley.
I of course am not referring to that schlocky garbage that you might find on "Meathead, Meathead and Meathead build a prefabricated puzzle", otherwise known as 'American Chopper', but this is the real deal. Taking bikes apart, chopping them (hence the name, dontchaknow) and reassembling them in all of their rusty badassness.
This is the motorbike enthusiasts 'Billetproof'.
Oh, by the way, did you hear that racket? That was the sound of the bummer life getting the hell out of dodge.
I like to click on as many of them as possible at once and imagine that I'm floating on a little cloud in Heaven, and instead of harps, all of the angels sing like Diamond Dave.
If you do, and you don't make it out to this, you my friend are a damned fool.
That sounds like a perfect way to spend a dreary Sunday.
Actually, that sounds like the perfect way.
But lest we forget, our pals from Team Beer'd in Chicago have their third night of gold sprints coming up that you probably wouldn't want to miss either.
It does my heart good to know that here we are, ankle deep in winter and folks aren't slowing down in the least.
I do, but then again, I'm delicate like a flower.
Speaking of which, I adjourned on my own Wednesday Night Ride, which was really not much to speak of. It was a lovely, and crisp sunset as I drank a beer, and shivered on the hillside, resulting in a chance to traverse my most favorite road in the county;
The sun eventually fell from view, and I wandered around the darkness in a solo mode, wondering what the hell I was doing.
With my toes finally robbed of their life force, I returned to my home to soak it off in a warm bath.
..Like I said.. 'A delicate flower'....
Why don't we see what George has been up to, no?
"Well Friend,
It has been a little spell since our last moment, but rest assured I have been doin it to it.
the flakes are here in full force which is alright, but it means getting yelled at by people you don't know who don't get why you're doing a 30 mile ride in the dark and snow with flashers. a dude stopped and yelled at me "go home cause you're sick." But on the flip side we've been shredding fresh gnar pow all week while getting the snow legs back.
Today was one hell of a day, my bro Slex sent me "The Rider" by Tim Krabbe and then I cracked a beer and read until the bath water went luke. plus there were a couple of 6packs just waiting on the counter compliments of my roommate "dad."
Big Shoutout to Max of the Stompaz who just completed his cycling trip from Seattle to NY. A Carbondale dude that somehow I never met, but known for killing it on any form of 2 wheels. Nice!
None of the pics have anything to do with any of the above text, but they do include a pink unicorn if you look closely.
toodles,
George"
From there, I don't really know where we can go but down.
As I've mentioned here many times recently, my parents are literally dumping box load after box load of crap on me during their relocation process. Among one of said box loads, I found some outtakes from my senior picture, which I will present to you now.
Yeah, it's crap, but not nearly as bad as the following;
In closing, I'll now offer you the sorded saga of one loudmouth who kinda missed the point of the Cyclocross heckle.
A sweet sequence of the hillbilly shuffle that Marko turned me onto can be found here.
That kind of nonsense would never fly in Boulder.
My final word on this is that the offenders were amateurs, and should have their heckler's licenses revoked.
Secondarily, as I told Marko, this is coming from an individual who's been escorted out of a World's mountain bike event by sherriff's officers, so that's saying something.
(It should be noted that it was a case of mistaken identity, Pringles, and pornography that led to my removal. Not blatant, Neanderthal-esque nimrodery.)
Lastly, I just got a nice email from David concerning my Wednesday's post;
"I hope you bust through that wall soon amigo, don't leave us hanging."
To which I responded;
"I'm persevering.
I'm half Irish.
That's all my people are good for."
I'd like to offer thanks for the emails and comments in support of me maintaining my position here, but I have no intention of walking away. Mark those words.
I almost totally promise.
Ok, I've wrung as much life outta this one as I possibly can.
I have had several conversations with folks the last few months concerning this here web log, and one point that they all have made consistently is that they don't know where I find the time to do it, and secondarily, how I continue coming up with topics of any interest.
I'm reluctant to call them 'note worthy', cause lets face facts here-
Steve Perry shaving his moustache off;
young nugs with hil-orrible tattoos;
oddly stimulating children's drawings;
or 98.75% of any of the other topics I've broached here in no way, shape, or form could be considered noteworthy.
Anyway, my response has always been from the start, 'it just comes to me'. It's like Jerry Seinfeld's television show idea, which of course as you know was a show about nothing.
I just set a few dominos up, and the rotation of the planet does the rest.
But truth be told, I recently have been feeling a little taxed.
'Maybe a few days off will rejuvenate me' I sometimes think, but my return to the grind inevitably stresses me out more than if I'd just stayed put.
I've not done a single drawing or painting since my return from New York, which part of me thinks is ok, because in effect I've shifted the creative process from one medium to another, but the nagging voice in the back of my head is getting louder when it tells me writing for a web log is as creative as seeing shapes in the clouds, and as the days go by, I'm beginning to believe that to be true.
The long and the short of it is that at this point it's starting to feel as if I'm no longer capable of maintaining the schedule I keep here on HTATBL, plus ride bikes, plus my daily 9 to 5, which these days is more along the lines of 7 to 6, plus make art, plus periodically remind the woman I live with who I am, and what my relationship with her is...
Once the days get a little longer, I can't imagine that I won't be able to shift back into high gear, but for now, we're possibly going to make a move to our winter schedule, and sometimes open a day less a week.
Or maybe I just have to start concentrating on shorter posts...
Either way, I hope that you all understand my predicament, and will continue to come and visit us here just the same.
But you know, as any individual of the world understands, part of ensuring one's own well being is to not only allow for personal time, but to invest wisely, and judging by recent developments, the investment I made last Spring looks like it might soon be paying off.
Sir Richard Branson and I will be partying on our own private islands, and you're all invited to come.
So I'm sure by now you all have seen Dubbya almost get tagged with the shoe, right?
I'm not ashamed to admit that I was impressed with how fast he moved. I dislike nearly all that the man stands for, but I gotta give him props for the deftness with which he avoided getting a kick to the dome.
Well, the week is already almost half way over. I like the sound of that alot, but with this past weekend still fresh in my mind, I'd like to show you a picture of what I got into when JMac and Tina B got to town.
We made chili and stacked stuff on Vinnie;
Playing cat Jenga is not nearly as much fun as playing drunk-guy Jenga, but still not as expensive as actually buying a regulation Jenga set, so at least it's got that going for it.
Now we are going to make the swift shift from stacking things on cats to helping a friend in need. Anybody worth their weight in mitered steel tubing knows who Steve Rex is;
Well it turns out that Steve was recently involved in an extremely serious accident and his family and friends are coming out in force to help him with his mounting medical bills. All of the pertinent information was recently emailed to me in a tidy little attachment, which I'll lay out for you now;
"Steve Rex and his family are long-time residents of Sacramento and very active in the local cycling community and in the American River Parkway Foundation. In mid-November, Steve had a very bad cycling crash. He broke his hip, femur, and elbow. He had two surgeries and possibly faces more in the future. To add to the family’s concerns, Steve’s teenage daughter received second degree burns over most of one arm and part of the other arm last week. The doctors are deciding if she will need skin grafts.
Steve is a custom bicycle frame builder and the owner of Rex Cycles located in Downtown Sacramento. He has a national reputation for his craftsmanship. Steve will be unable to work and build frames for a while. As a small way to help Steve and his family get through this difficult time, a custom bicycle frame raffle is being held.
Even if you don’t ride, you probably know someone that does, and helping out is a nice thing to do!
What: $2,500.00 credit for merchandise or a custom frame from Rex Cycles. Proceeds in excess of $2,500.00 will go directly to the Rex Family.
How much: $10 tickets. Buy as many as you want.
How to pay: Send me a check made out to Steve Rex or cash or stop by the shop. My address is below.
When: The drawing will be held on December 20 at 2:00 pm at Steve’s shop located at 1811 E Street in Sacramento. You need not be present to win.
Contact: Dave Burke (916) 439-2194.
1021 Los Molinos Way, Sacramento, CA 95864
dmburke@winfirst.com"
I've had the pleasure of spending a bit of time with Steve in his shop, and the guy is truly a class act, and as down to earth an individual as you'd ever want to meet.
All of us at Swobo are wishing Steve a speedy recovery as well as sending our best thoughts to his daughter.
Please, ten bucks is a small price to pay to help out, and even if you don't walk away with the most kick ass bike you could ever hope to dream of, you'll at least rest easy at night knowing that you are helping out some folks who are in the clan, as it were, and right now are in fairly desperate need.
Last but not least, here's a shot Joe took of what Satan uses to capture all of his family's fondest vacation memories;
Firstly, for those who cant see the fine print in the above image, It's a copy of Slayer's 'Reign in Blood', which you might be interested to know I received for Christmas from my parents in 1989.
My parents are pretty cool.
Secondly, I struggled with the conception of todays post for a better part of the weekend.
I wondered, 'has the well finally run dry?'
Am I at last losing the spark of inspiration to write that I didn't even know I had to begin with?
Was I so bloody hungover from Saturday's Mudhoney show that even the mere sound of my index fingers hunting and pecking on the keyboard was almost enough to send me into a quivering heap upon the floor?
The answer to all of these questions is probably a yes, but for the sake of your Monday, I'll push through.
And yes, Mudhoney, after all these years, as the kids say, can still bring it.
Not bad for a bunch of old guys.
After the show, we adjourned back to the bar, where we had originally been getting our drink on, and at roughly 2:30 On Sunday morning, I thought it would be a good idea to pay Joe and Complayna a visit to thank them for a 6:00 Saturday morning phone call a few months ago from New York in which they eagerly explained to me that there was alot of reggae there, and I probably wouldn't like it.
They threw the gauntlet with that phone call and declared war, so at the wee hours of the morning on Sunday, no soul was spared and the collateral damage was high as I stood outside of her front door banging on the glass and ranting drunkenly about reggae in New York and that if she didnt open the door 'I was going to break every one of her goddamned windows'.
If I know where you live, it's generally best to not call me at 6:00 on a Saturday.
Here's a clip that that Ashley sent on for an animated Danko Jones video thats as pleasing to the eye, as it is to the ear;
...And here is a super sweet Craigslist posting that Mark sent on that will probably make you glad you're not Chris;
Notifying someone that they are in fact your baby daddy through the classifieds is almost as classy as texting a one night stand that you have the clap.
Dan from Crank My Chain sent in this clip from Portland's recent USGP along with this awesome shot of an extraordinarily relieved looking Katrina Nash;
So..you know who rolled through the warehouse the other day?
"Blind" Bobby McMullen and his seeing eye dog, Mark. I included quotations around 'Blind' for a couple of reasons.
The first being that he is, the second being that it sounds cool like, "Diamond" David Lee Roth, or "Fast" Freddy Rodriguez, and thirdly because if you've ever met the man or are aware of what what he's capable of, the fact that he can't see is of little importance, so it almost ends up sounding ironic.
Anyhow, as our boys do from time to time, they came by and slapped some hands as we caught up a little bit.
If you ever see these guys at an event, or if you're out and about in their hometown of Redding California, stop them and say hello.
I promise your day will be better for it.
Should you not be fortunate enough to meet Bobby in person however, maybe you can make your day better by simply looking at some puppies.
As you can probably guess, this weekend was chock full of cold air, rainy skys, and boozy livers.
Time to save face and wrap it up as quickly as possible.
We hope you all had great weekends, and we'll catch you on the flip side.
And by 'the flip side' I kinda mean when the effects of the weekend wear off, and what not.
This is not safe for work, or for children, and if you never leave your house or read the newspaper, could be considered offensive.
Don't say you weren't warned.
Now everybody dance.
And now to follow up on the rant on the automotive industry.
As I previously guessed, Jim did end up writing in with some observations, as did a bunch of other sharp witted individuals, but one that stuck in my brain was a correspondence from a particular (and remaining unnamed) curmudgeon who made a good point I would like to share, and then follow with my rebuttal;
"Hey, bailing out the auto industry for 25 billion (this time) is no more ridiculous than bailing out the Financial industry for 700 billion (this time). Both played the system until the bubble burst. I personally think the financial industry even deserves it less since all they do is skim money off the top of other people's efforts. At least the auto industry has to take a guess at producing an incredibly complex product that people will buy and in the appropriate quantities, etc. Seems a lot harder than moving imaginary money around. Also remember the auto industry did produce efficient cars, and the US people didn't buy them. They bought big vehicles. Sure that's what marketing told them to do but is the car companies fault or the fact that the US consumers are a bunch of fucking sheep?
The only reason the bicycle world keeps picking up on the auto industry bailout is because of the us vs them thing drivers and cyclists have toward each other. Which is ridiculous since almost all cyclists own cars. Hell the mountain bike industry would die if people couldn't drive to trails. Heck even roadies often put the bike on the car. And honestly, bicycles will never be a 100% viable alternative to cars. Now public transportation (buses, trains) plus bikes maybe but you can't tell me that a 70 year old lady in MN is going to ride her bike to the store in -10 degree weather. Or for that matter most sane, healthy people because it sucks to do so, and I mean really, really, really sucks, especially if its on a regular basis.
I didn't post this as a comment because it would just start a shitstorm which is not what your blog is about, well not that kind of shitstorm anyway."
It's a very good point, and I respect and appreciate where he is coming from. In my first response I simply said "You talk pretty", but upon further consideration, I thought it respectful to at least defend my position, and in my smartest, and most smarmy tone I wrote back;
"..Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, if any industry ignored what was on the table before them, shit the bed and then turned to the public to bring them back out of the hole, I would disagree with it.
This has nothing to do with my disdain for the automobile, or it's industry, rather it has everything to do with my disdain for the lack of accountability in corporate America, and that it ends up being my responsibility when I could have told them what was going to happen 10 years ago.
So screw you, smarty pants."
When you mess with the bull, you get the horns my friends. You get the horns.
That was a lot of words. Now how about some photos and a video to get our minds off of the dreary reality that is ours?
Fritz sent this shot on to me that he poached from Veronika Kalenzi;
I responded with the wildly funny "How are your Andre' Dugast tubulars treating you now, fancy pants?"
To which he replied "how are your $150.00 Andre' Dugast tubulars?..."
I told him to stop copying me, and then he told me that I was copying him, and now I'm so confused as to which one of us really is the funniest that I'm afraid I have to give up on the entire thing, and move onto items of more importance.
Well, it just so happens that they're having their release party tonight, and if I was just about 100 miles further North, I would do just about anything to be present.
It's got a lot of things that I'm quite fond of going for it.
I like bicycles, I think girls are pretty great, and I have a fairly soft spot for bars, so it would really be a win, win, win for me.
If you happen to live in that particular neck of the woods, do me a favor and go in my absence.
I doubt you will be sorry.
Now then- before we get to the ever popular 'Kaptains Korner' segment, I am going to throw myself on the mercy of those among you who might be willing and/or able to cook up a nice graphic for said segment.
Maybe a kooky font that looks like pieces of broken wood nailed together, and a tall skinny man in an Evil jersey, sitting in a rocking chair, next to a pig wearing lipstick and a jug of moonshine.
You know.. Just as an idea.
Anyway, the graphic designer that can dazzle me with a header for 'The Kaptains Korner' will get a free Swobo T-shirt of their choice and a can of domestic beer of my choice.
Anyway, with that being said, lets hand the mic over to Dave;
"It's the holiday time. For some, a time of family and joy, for others, just colder weather. But seeing as we give stuff to each other, what do we dorks give? Chain rings? Swobo gear (shameless!), silly little household knickknacks made from cycling stuff? You know, lights at the ends of spokes, Santa on a bike figurines, ornaments made from empty White Lightning containers? I've decided on tubes. Everyone I know - and that's pretty much all folks who use bikes daily - will get one 700x23 inner tube. The valves will be Presta just for kicks. If you can't use it, you can regift it and give it to someone who can. It's pretty simple. If you are ok on tubes, then you can fashion a Christmas slingshot to launch projectiles at people you don't like. Or, make a sassy pair of suspenders. Perhaps a noose or an animal trap. The possibilities are endless."
I'd like some tubes, and the Budweiser socks I left at your house Dave. That's all I want for Christmas.
Here is a video clip that Newt sent us of a young, but still totally sucking Keanu Reeves;
For those of you who might find yourselves in The Bay Area, why don't you stop by and see our friends at American Cyclery this weekend, as they are having a blowout sale on all of the goodies from their basement's darkest corners, with the exception of The Gimp.
Maybe if they're feeling especially generous, they might even crack open all of their cases of Campy high flanged track hubs and Caramba Double Barrel cranks that they've been sitting on.
Maybe while you're there, you can put your name on the waiting list for the 2009 Dura Ace group, complete with the $289.00 chain.
As 6'7" mentioned in passing on Thursday, one misshift could lead a brotha' to financial ruin.
But as they say in my 'hood, 'that would be a YP (your problem), not an MP (my problem).'
We've touched on nearly all bases today.
Car parts? Check.
Girl parts? Check.
The Captain's parts? Check.
Bike parts? Check, and check.
I will also mention that Saturday night in my home, and sometimes home away from home of Santa Cruz, the moldy maestros of mayhem, Mudhoney will be playing, and it promises to be a Superfuzz, Bigmufferific time.
The last time I saw them, as they began playing their seminal hit 'Touch Me I'm Sick', the girl standing in front of me wearing tiny braids with beads on each end, began dancing so furiously, that I was almost beat to death with the Cat o' nine tails upon her head.
I'll see if I cant avoid a repeat performance.
Let us start off with a small rant about the auto industry.
Sky brought this particular headline into the warehouse on Tuesday, and just so you can drink in every last drop of idiocy that this image has to offer, all you have to do is click here.
As a second opinion on this matter, Marian sent this little jewel in;
I'm sure Jim probably has some astute observations on the matter, as he typically does concerning subjects of a political (or quasi-political) nature, but from my little corner of ignorance, I just hope to holy hell that people see the glaring and insulting contradiction of this particular brand of wool that's currently being pulled over the public's eyes.
Am I the only one that remembers the auto industry suing states who were challenging their claim that it would be absolutely impossible to make fuel efficient automobiles before 2012, yet lo and behold, GM has something like 18 out of 19 new models for 2009 of a hybrid or flex fuel design.
I was barely out of diapers during the domestic peak oil production (I was a late bloomer) of the 1970s, and the trend to move away from the guzzlers to more efficient cars, but still I understood the reasoning behind it, and it made sense to my young and undercooked mind.
The only difference between then and now is that we're currently at peak production word wide, and I'm much hairier, but I still saw the writing on the wall several years ago.
How is it that the grossly overpaid CEOs and shareholders did not?
As usual, I'm probably talking out of my ass and I expect Jim to set me straight, but at this stage of the game, that's the way it looks to me, and from this prospective, it totally sucks.
And so does praying to God to fix it.
But seeing as about 90% of you are now saddled with some kind of Canyonero or Eskillaide or another, you're probably thinking to yourself "I can't afford to drive the bad boy any more. What ever am I going to do with it?"
Well Matt sent in the answer to all of your prayers;
When you're done with that bit of business, and if you happen to find yourself in Portland, you can get back to real (reel) life and take in this weekend's Bicycle Film Festival.
It promises to be a ho down of biblical proportions.
Josh, who is the mastermind behind the annual Urban Assault Ride series sent us an email regarding his own particular brand of bummer life avoidance;
"Hey Stevil,
I wanted to let you know about this ride we did yesterday: the Pennock Pedaling Pow-Wow. It was a 92 mile cold Colorado dirt/pavement adventure.
I was sporting a Swobo jersey and both Lawyer Eric and I wore the wool winter cap – which was awesome the whole ride.
That looks good, but I woulda probably cracked and made you carry me home at about the 50 mile mark.
I don't rightly know why this bit of information was sparked in my brain as I imagined Josh carrying my weary carcass home, but our own Joe Parkin of A Dog in a Hat fame is going to have a mid-coast book signing this Friday at The Bicycle Trip in Santa Cruz from 5:00 to 7:00.
As an added bonus, I may be there sign a few of his books as well, because without me, Joe would be nothing.
Would you like to know about my latest crush? Now generally, I don't expound on my affinity for any particular lady here, because aside from the fact that I'm all hugged up and what not, I generally just don't think that this is an appropriate forum for such things, but last night I came across this young lady who's just so bad ass in so many ways, that I can't help myself and I have to share my love for her with the world.
Her name is Natalia Partyka, and she's a wicked tough ping pong player for the Polish National table tennis team;
Plus, I just love this photo so much.
Yeah, and the fact that she was born with one arm makes her totally awesome too.
So if you happen to be reading this Natalia, you've stolen my heart like almost no one before you.
Now I'm going to finish this post off with a couple of new additions to 'the art that doesn't suck' segment.
If you've paid close attention to this segment in the past, you may have noticed that I have never once included anyone who does bicycle related art work.
This is simply because I personally tend to draw a line between art and bicycles.
And no, there's no pun intended. It's just two different interests to me that I like to keep separated.
But I've got a couple of folks on deck whose work has begun to realign my thinking.
This first cat I met in Las Vegas this year at the trade show, and after looking through his website, realized that I was previously familiar with his work from some rather absurd Vice Magazine supplements about fixed gears that were released a few years ago, but the fact of the matter was, the only thing not totally ridiculous about those supplements were the illustrations, which I fell head over heels with in love as soon as I saw them.
All hail the sublime work of Chris McNally.
This next fella I found wile trolling Myspace, and his work is reminiscent of Mel Bend's Wrench Pilot, as well as Geof Darrow from Frank Miller's 'Hard Boiled' series.
He goes by the name of Adam Haynes, and is truly a doodler extraordinaire.
So there is a boat load of garbage for you to sink your teeth into until next time.
As usual I'd say, 'it's Wednesday, you know what to do', but seeing as the days are short and the nights are cold, this might imply anything from riding through the frigid darkness with your buddies to curling up under an electric blanket with a good book, both of which sound pretty good to me.
If I had any buddies, or an electric blanket, or a good book.
Which reminds me of something that my second cousin, Bill used to be fond of saying...
"If we had some bacon, we could have some bacon and eggs, if we had some eggs."
...You get the picture.
And with that, I offer you the word of the day from TinaB;
Omelette....
Example: "I shuda slapped da fuck outta yo ass but omelette that shit slide."
You can't fake the kind of brilliance that finds its way here.
I have searched high and low, and finally found the gift that would properly show me your appreciation.
I understand that this little slice of badassness recently sold at auction for $840.00. That means if all of the people who read The Bummer Life pooled their resources, you all could have gotten me one for only $140.00 a piece.
That would go smashingly with my slot cars.
Picasso sent us a clip. You wanna watch it? Of course you do.
"Hey Stevil;
I’m a big fan of your blog. I’m guessing you’re always looking for new material so I thought I’d pass along the following clip from YouTube:
This is a pretty funny clip of a guy acting stupid while dressed up in a kangaroo suit. You could say it is done in Jackass style sans the anal insertion, mindless midget comedy, or vulgar language.
Enjoy!
Peace out,
Picasso Bull"
Firstly, of course you're a big fan of this blog. I mean, why wouldn't you be? Secondly, I liked that clip, but the anal insertion and vulgar language is all that I ever watched Jackass for anyway, and thirdly this was reminiscent of Whisky Snowboard's old 'Boozy the Clown' mascot.
Does anyone remember those videos?
One of my most favorite stories about Boozy happened at the Action Sports trade show in Las Vegas many years ago. There was a huge crowd in front of Treasure Island watching the old pirate battle show that they used to have, when suddenly the bad pirate's ship was somehow boarded by none other than Boozy himself, and he began fighting all of the bad guys. Then realizing that their fellow actors were in peril, the good guys began mobbing this errant clown as well.
So there's the scene-
Pirate galleons with cannons booming and the clash from the crossed swords of swashbuckling buccaneers all of whom are getting sucker punched as they begin to jointly mob a totally shitfaced man dressed up as a clown.
Life just doesn't get much better for me than that.
You know what happened this weekend?
The third annual Supermarket Sweep Race, that's what.
And you know who didn't put up the flyer?
Me.
However, in my defense, this information was sent to me two months ago, and has been sitting in my inbox, waiting for me to remember, hopefully a day or two prior, which obviously didn't work out so well.
So, for those of you who have a bike rack on your Delorian, and can get back to the future for a day, I offer you this;
And to the organizers, I offer my most sincere apologies for being off the back with this one.
Next year I promise to organize my bongs in the Spring time, allowing my full attention to be focused on you.
One race that I didn't totally drop that ball on however was the Ann Arbor Cranksgiving event that Andy just wrote in with some highlights from;
"Stevil -
Thanks so much for your support of Ann Arbor's Cranksgiving. This year it exceeded expectations and we more than DOUBLED the amount of food collected during the event (compared to last year). The weather was colder than some would have liked and affected turnout, but committed bike people are committed bike people, and regardless of the temperature and we had about about 40 folks contributing a total of 1005 lbs of food to benefit Food Gatherers.
That works out to *25 lbs per rider* on average.
Talking to people at the finish line, I heard reactions ranging from "this was really fun" up to "it's my favorite race of the year", and while some people show up to race just to put the hurt on their buddies,
some come out because they just want to help people in need. Overall, impression were that it was a resounding success, and with your support for the prize pool, it worked out better than I could have expected. For that, thank you.
The overall scheme was to have incentives for hauling lots of food, and doing it fast, and making it fun - your contribution to the prize pool made that possible. I hope that the promotional exposure and good karma in this corner of the cycling community is good for your business as well.
If you haven't had a chance to check in on the results, the times/weights and links to photos are up at our blog.
Thanks again for your support, and best wishes in the holiday season.
- Andy"
I'm glad we could help, and at this stage in the game, we can use all the good karma we can get our hands on.
Our boy Zeke out K.C. way sent an email a couple weeks ago concerning the opening of a new bit of land thats legal for bikes, and/or bicycle related hijinkbaucherty;
"Last weeked was the offical opening of some sweet new dirt in Kansas City called Swope Park Trails.
Thanks to a super boss I got the day off to go check out the loop on a beautiful 60 degree day. The loop is only phase one and there is more planned.
Its short but super sweet. Some of the best single track I have ever ridden.
An added bonus is that I could ride there from my house.
I rode 4 laps (2 each direction) and was suprised to discover that I had only ridden a little over an hour.
There seems to be quite of bit of climbing at first since the trail head is at the bottom of a hill,
but its well worth it.
I had been told that it wasn't overly single speed friendly but I didn't seem to have much problem once I got in the groove.
In the coming years this will be another destination mountain bike location in the KC area.
Here is a link to a few photos I took on my afternoon ride.
Cheers!
Zeke"
The looks of that place make my palms feel all itchy, and a gigantic debt of gratitude goes out to the hard working folks that are making Swope a reality.
Now then.. In other news- I'm not sure if I've mentioned this, but my folks have finally pulled up steaks in Oregon, and have made their way to the little town of Lynden Washington, (presumably to get further away from me).
As much as I'd hoped that they'd moved into a windmill there, I'm afraid thats just not the case. I will be making a trip up in the coming weeks to inspect their new compound, so to my friends either in Lynden, or in nearby Bellingham, give your boy a shout, and when I get to town the first round is on you.
Ten years ago or so, I spent some time in Bellingham, and actually partook in a mountain bike race in which Michael Golinski, formerly of Spot Bikes fame and I were the only two one speeders.
I had a lock on victory at that particular event, but I stopped racing due to the fact that I'd lost count of the laps, and apparently ended the race one short.
By the time I'd finally recognized my error, Michael had another half lap on me and for all of that effort, I ended up receiving a single pair of Kona socks.
Always the bride's maid, never the bride.
Anyway, in the coming year I hope to return and resume my exploration of the lovely loveliness that is that region, perhaps with some locals in tow.
Say, here's a shot I've been sitting on for a while of the Australian mens champions at last month's track Worlds proving that they are well endowed with a high sense of class and humor;
Well played fellas. Well played.
Now then.. Not that you all probably don't have enough stuff to occupy your time on these interwebs and I'm sure I'm the last one to figure this out, but I've recently have been turned on to another bike blog that tends to be a damn fine read. Should you find yourself with a little extra time to burn on your coffee break, I recommend you spend it with The Bike Lemming.
Well, aside from the standard nincompoopery that I generally immerse myself in over the weekends, I finally got the opportunity to catch the hugely powerful rock trio Who Rides The Tiger at Oakland's Stork Club, and it was everything I had anticipated it to be.
*Photo by Bob Moon*
Secondarily, one of the opening acts was an Oakland based band called The Worship of Silence. Now understand- I've been seeing bands for a very long time, so at this point, I suppose I would consider myself a little jaded and hard to impress. Having never seen nor heard of this band, I was a little taken aback to be so completely transfixed by them.
While the headliners were no slouches themselves, and put to shame what all power duos before them have spawned, I would have been content with the performances of just these two acts, and in turn most likely spent a lot less money on drinks.
*Photo by Josh*
Anyway, The Worship of Silence were absolutely one of the finest acts I've ever seen, and I highly recommend you check them out.
From the bar, we melted back into the night to find some place to rest our weary and throbbing heads.
With ears still ringing and a blinding hangover, I then woke up at the absolute ass crack of Sunday morning to get up into the hills to take a bite of some forbidden fruit that comes the form of a trail network I had not been on in about 15 years.
Any time I get the chance to get back to 'my roots', as it were, I jump at it.
The trail is as perfect as I remembered, and the nostalgia was running deep as I recalled my first trips through there while in college with my pal Danny, who back in 1989 was actually the one responsible for getting me on a mountain bike to begin with.
It's a sweet piece, that one is.
On that note- as the plug is pulled on yet another installment of The Bummer Life, on behalf of all of us here at Swobo, I hope all of you had a great weekend.
Clench up for five more days, and then we call all have a repeat.
get your skis waxed up, grab a stick of Juicy Fruit....
The taste is gonna moooove ya... First go here, and then go back here.
*Ah hell. I totally forgot to mention that today marks the 75th anniversary of prohibition being repealed, so after you buy your hat and scarf, you should go get totally banjaxed.*
I woke up at the crack of dawn on Thursday morning with the words flowing from my brain like so much water.
"I really should go sit down at the computer and begin to capture this moment" I thought to myself.
"Nah, I'm sleepy. Besides, I'll be able to remember what I just came up with", were the last words that crossed my mind as I drifted back to sleep.
Then the dream began. I was sitting at the computer, typing away, every last word from the previously mentioned inspiration caught in time.
And when I woke up again, it was a rapidly fading memory, soon to be gone forever.
You might ask, what could possibly be so important that it would inject itself so fervently into one's psyche?
That, my friends is a good question.
And the answer to that query would be bacon's eulogy.
We've certainly had some good times together on The Bummer Life, and if this were a T.V.show, the screen would go all wavy-gravy on us, and we would see a montage of images from over the last thousand days or so of everything from bacon wallets, to bacon bowls.
I've attempted to quit before, but like the pushers that The Bummer Life audience are, no matter how far I ran, you always knew where to find me, and that I had a weakness that you could exploit every time.
Well, today marks the day that I'm going cold turkey. Sure, I'll have the occasional lapse, which according to Dr. Drew is a fairly common occurance, but I'm determined, and due to my Irish and German heritage, that determination can only be broken by alcohol and/or naked ladies.
"What could possibly have brought this on?" you might wonder.
Well, aside from this, and this, the fact of the matter is that the honeymoon's been over for a while.
It's like telling the same joke over and over, and that's just not something I'm comfortable with. This might stem from the first ever knock knock joke I learned, which of course I told incorrectly, and at 5 years old, I thought everyone was laughing at the joke, when in reality they were laughing at the fact that so much retardation could be packed into such a little body.
(If you must know, it went like this-
Knock knock
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
and then you blow out on your best 5 year old Pavarotti vibrato, "lettuce sing"...
But I confused 'lettuce' with 'salad'.)
I also often referred to my dad's sideburns as 'fire jobbies', but that as they say, is another story.
Anyhow, I am at the point where I refuse to beat the dead horse any longer, no matter how delicious it might be. (That part actually was in my dream.)
I thank you all for your continued dedication to the cause, as well as your support of my decision and please understand that we're not going away entirely on this, we are simply going to disband to the underground as we begin to investigate and exploit many other worthy topics as the months continue to mount.
Besides, we here in the Swobo warehouse have a new passion.
So from this point, why don't we adjourn to the mail bag?
"Some of us have to deal with winter.
You don’t.
Anyway, this is Pete Hickey
Know of him and of his beard.
I don’t know what drives me to randomly send you strange links, other than the fact that you and I and other loonies may LOVE them.
Tobie"
I have to deal with winter, just not the ice-in-my-beard kind of winter and I suspect what drives you to send on such items is the same compulsion that drives me to come back here and post day after day.
Or do everything four times.
Or check the mail ten times a day.
Or dress up in underpants and tap shoes with a plastic bag stuffed down over my junk and ride a bicycle in the dark before work in temperatures so low that the exposed bit of skin between the bottom of my tights and top of my socks swells up twice it's normal size while the girl is at home in a warm bed.
We're all birds of the same feather.
Then a little slice of love, piled up next to a huge serving of free time from David;
(2) Craig Giffen, diabolical mastermind behind Humanclock and the lovely Cora avoiding the bummer life and rockin' to "Superconductor's "Bush Pilot". The video itself is bummer life avoidance at its best but the seller is the PBR belt on Bonzi, the lab.
(3) BLA radars will confirm this a hand-crafted submission made with by real humans to the enlightened."
I love, love, love Superconductor and for those of you who are unfamiliar, they were a band from Vancouver BC with so many members that when they got together for a band photo, they had to have a few mops and brooms stand in wearing hats and wigs due to the fact that it was impossible to get all seventeen band members to commit to getting together at the same time.
Thats some amazing stuff, but if Bruce were alive today, I don't think he'd stand a chance against The Stick.
The dude's a ping pong ninja...
Adam, who was one of the masterminds behind the current IRO goldsprint series in Chicago writes;
"Stevil,
I wanted to give you a quick update on how the first night went. In a word, Great. We had 54 racers and at least 100 spectators. Racers represented five local teams, multiple shops and all skill levels.
Here are some links to photos taken that night (one and two).
If you want to compare, the fastest time for the 400m was 15.698secs for the men and under 20sec for the females. On the 15th, we will be doing team sprints, one member will sprint 400m and when they are 3 secs from finishing the other team member get a count down for his/her 400m Thank you again for your help with this event, it made it even more successfully.
Adam Herndon"
I'm glad that we could be of some sort of service, and being somehow associated with the greatness that is Team Beer'd is a fact that makes our hearts all twittery.
Our own Loudass wrote in with a little slice of heavy metal horror;
"Re: If you need more proof that Metallica now sucks...
This was spotted by Kyle at a store on Divisadero.
Also, James Hetfield lives up the street from Aaron in Peacock Gap - he scoots around the neighborhood on one of those electric bikes that retired engineers ride to Radio Shack when their recumbent is in the shop."
The only proof I needed was the last six albums, and one incredibly embarrassing documentary.
Always one to lament the passing of fun in the sun, George writes in with a simple thought;
"dude - these 4 pics pretty much sum up the summer.
g"
Had you only included a shot of you on your way to your construction job in your convertible Miyata, the set would have been complete.
Do you ever get one of those emails that has a link attached that just kinda makes your brain feel as if it uncomfortably shifts a bit inside of your skull?
I dont really know where to go from here. I suppose it might just be best to draw this one to a close with this week's Friday Hero that was forwarded on by Eric.
Welcome to the honorable annals of Friday Herodom Mr. Brian Tinsley.
As a final piggishly Capitalistic move, I'll now take the opportunity to let folks know that after a long and nearly painful wait, we finally just got a new shipment of men's and women's long sleeved woolies back in stock.
If you're gonna pick yourself up one of them, grab an extra for your old friend Stevil.
I love those damned things. I really do.
As usual I barely cleaned my plate here, and there is sure to be much more to cover on Monday.
I hope that all of you good people have a fan-freaking-tastic weekend, and can do what it takes to stem the tide of the bummer life for yet a few more days.
Last week completely derailed the fluidity that is The Bummer Life..
So lets see if we can't get back on track, shall we? First of let's get down with a clip from Ben of Handsome Cycles fame, that should encourage us all to be more like the folks depicted therein;
And next up we have photographic evidence of what two individuals can accomplish with a rivet gun, some beer and and a whole lot of free time;
Tanner, who was one of the folks behind this fit of madness writes;
"My brother and I made some PBR fenders over the weekend. We used some Planet Bike 700c full cover fenders, lots of PBR cans, rivets and some Leinies Fireside Nut Brown to help keep us creative."
They say necessity is the mother of invention, right? Necessity and Fireside Nut brown I guess.
And speaking of which, Keith C-E sent this clip in, and judging by the horse cackle in the background, not only was necessity partially responsible for this little slice of horror, but I suspect several packs of Pall Mall straights were somehow involved as well;
Heres another clip that a few folks have sent on, that I suspect somehow or another we all can relate to;
I think it's safe to assume that Bob most definitely can;
"Yo Stevil,
Faced with the "in between season", the night before thanksgiving (biggest party night of the year), and a sixtel of tasty beer, my friends and I put together a relay of sorts.
check out the page here (bunch of dudes on bikes drinking beers and racing bikes) --> Two of the guys I ride (i.e. drink) with are veterinarians. they actually went back to the office and stitched up the one guys knee.
that should be enough to work your word-smith magic. feel free to cut and paste how you see fit.
rock on
-bob"
Word-smith magic, huh? I gotta say that I think you kinda pulled the rug from beneath me on that one.
You supplied all of the wordsmithmagishery that was needed.
That is except for "wordsmithmagishery". I'll take credit for that one.
Jim from The Unholy Rouleur got ahold of us with a whole bunch of his own particular brand of magishery;
I really don't know what to attach as a modifier to Thanksgiving. Christmas is "Merry" or "Joyous," Easter is "Happy," and July 4th is "Call 9/11, Daddy just passed out on the grill*"
So you're getting my Beneficent Thanksgiving wishes, and you'll like it.
Important news: a new cocktail featuring... wait for it...
NO! NOT BACON!
But bacon grease, which we all know is the distilled soul of bacon, kind of like how a pound of crystal meth is the distilled soul of the Hell's Angels.
It sounds tasty, but on the advice of medical, legal, and voodoo counsel, I'm going to skip it. Seriously. The pants are tight enough and if you combined bacon with bourbon, two of my favorite pastimes, I'd wind up a fat, out of control drunk with clotted arteries.
Not only does that cocktail involve bacon, but it has ties to Portland, so it's got at least two of your favorite things, and when you take into account the wildness you'll get up to after about six of them, it really includes at least three of them.
Double bonus link - Mud and Cowbell's vid of the Golden, CO 45+ cross race. Comments from a good buddy on my club who is a rising masters racer (probably moving to the elites next year): 1) They don't appear to use tape; 2) They are moving really
slow; 3) The course doesn't look at all technical.
But don't knock it - that's how they roll in Boulder! (FWIW, our local cross scene is very hotly contested and pretty well attended).
Seriously tho Stevil, have a very merry National Man Day. You've provided me with a lot of laughs and bummer life avoidance, and for that I'm truly grateful.
That, and the recipe for a salad / egg / cereal / change bowl made of bacon.
Jim"
Firstly I'll mention that Hurl and I have shared a similar concoction at Las Vegas's Double Down bar, and as much as I enjoy sharing some cocktails and a bit of bromance with Hurl, if I never drink a drink with bacon grease in it again, it might very well be too soon. Secondly, and certainly with no disrespect to Jim's buddy, if the epic crowds in that video are any indication of how seriously they really do take cyclocross on the front range, then I'd say that that I have sorely underestimated this fact, and will yet again have to realign my understanding of the profundity of said seriousness..
Now to mix things up a bit, here's a flyer for our homegirl's birthday who lends us a helping hand over at GWCTOH;
Because she gets busy doing what she does, and she's such a peach and all, we sent her a smattering of gifts to share with all who come out and play this weekend.
As a matter of fact, I spoke with Julie on the phone last weekend and she'd mentioned a certain small and cylindrical gift that I'd included in the package as well.
"I'll bet it's a can of beer" she said she'd told her boyfriend.
I'm afraid Julie knows me like the back of her hand.
Either that or I'm just getting too predictable in my old age.
Here is another flyer for an event that's going down up in Seattle not for a birthday, but to feed some folks who need a little bit of an extra helping hand;
They had me at "plenty of beer at the finish".
Now just to prove that The Bummer Life still can't quite maintain any specific direction, I'll now take the opportunity to display this photo depicting just how The Empire rolls these days;
Never let it be said that I can still maintain a thought for more than a few seconds at a time, but then again, I guess thats why I get paid the big bucks.
Now there are just a couple more items of attention. The first being a reminder for any of you all in the Bay Area who wanna get all rad and stuff, there is the continuation of the North Bay series;
and secondly, based on a recent email communication with a couple of my bigger friends, I was inspired to take a moment to pay tribute to some of these folks who remind us all that you don't have to be a 140 pound nimrod to race bicycles;
In Loudass's case, you only have to be a 300 pound nimrod to race bicycles, as proven by this shot taken by CX Magazine's ace photog Andrew Yee. More of his eye's fruit can be found on their Flickr page.
Any listing of big folks with big hearts that can ride the hell out of some bikes when they want to wouldn't be complete without mentioning Dennis;
...Dennis, who happens to also be a shining star up in the Pacific Northwest as well;
Of course there is Skotty Pawz, who actually is responsible for a good many of these photos;
And our big man, Steve P;
Of course, being 'big' doesn't just mean on the rotund side, but we've got a good many friends that are carrying around extra weight just due to their altitude.
Like Sasha the giant drunk Russian, for example;
Or Dean (It should be noted the man behind Dean is six feet tall, which makes Dean somewhere in the neighborhood of twelve feet high and rising.)
And last but not least, the light of our life, our own 6'7";
This is by no means to be considered a complete list of the biggies who get down on two wheels, but for now, it is just a list of a few of our favorites.
So here's to you all, who drag around the extra height, or width, or in some cases both.
You guys make me feel like a one of those 140 pound nimrods, and at this stage in the game, I'll take as much of that as I can get.
Like I always say, It's Wednesday today. You know what to do.
I'm also thankful for this image (also apparently at Walmart) that Nat sent, as well as the site from which it was taken.
Yep, I love it when folk give me stuff...
We hope everybody had a restful few days away from the salt mines. I snuck back into the warehouse for a little while on Friday, just because I'm a stand up guy, but other than that, I was like a shadow.
Lots of eating, lots of bike riding, lots of sleeping, and a hell of a lot of SpongeBob.
I used to not care for him that much, but have since seen the error of my ways.
Anyway, at one point over the mini-vacation, a bunch of peeps from every direction converged on a single location, with the express purtpose to try out the freshly rained on dirt.
It was loamy, and tacky, and sticky, and all of the other prime adjectives one might use when describing the ultimate in trail riding conditions, but not before we attempted to get in some quality pre-ride stretching, which Complayna just wont allow;
Despite the interruption, we continued on with our ride in a formation so tight, that the Blue Angels would have been green with envy;
As a matter of fact, due to the symmetry of the group, I repeatedly half-way expected everyone to break out in a Partridge Family tune.
I also got an email from Brady;
"I went to Boston for the holiday to visit my sister and her bf. Apparently New England has these things called 'Blue Laws' (not to be confused with the notoriously uncomfortable 'blue balls'), one of which makes it illegal for grocery stores to be open on major holidays, such as Thanksgiving. Long story short, we had leftovers for dinner, but not before trekking all over the city trying to find a store that was open. On the journey, I found this in the subway and I thought you would like to know about it:
I was kind of disappointed that there were no rainbows in conjunction with the image, I'm sure that of all organizations the Museum of Science would be able to make that happen.
Brady"
Well, now that you mention it, I've got your rainbow right here. As it turns out a rainbow isn't actually light refracting through water particles, but in reality is the result of a nefarious government conspiracy, as proven by the crazy lady and her video camera;
Anyway, alot of good stuff went down on this end over the weekend.
I even got the opportunity to trim out our office a little bit more;
Anybody is welcome to come and test your mettle, you just gotta bring your own ride. I've got a top secret hop-up kit in mine, and I'm not about to share.
However, arguably the highlight of the weekend was making it up to San Francisco for the Pilarcitos cross race, in which I was determined to apply everything I've learned these last six months or so about just how serious cross racing is.
As a matter of fact, this event took it to a whole new level, as one 18th place sad sack A racer exclaimed to me in an effeminate shriek, as he was attempting to pass in an entirely impassable area "You're supposed to move! You're ruining the race for everybody!" Four feet later the trail opened up and he moved around me as I reminded him that this was a bicycle race, and if he wanted to have an aneurysm while recreating, he should take up R.C. car racing.
Really, the only one present at the event who ever is worth a damn is Loudass;
Anyway, tightassed regional mid-pack contenders not withstanding, the race was a blast. I had a horrid start, but kept it together through the bitter end, where I was just in time to celebrate the B-tards efforts by sharing some money and beer with them.
In light of the fact that I still haven't received any photographic evidence from my team of photographers, I have to use this old chestnut of Brad at the same race, two years ago.
Sunday looked mostly like this, but there was less orange, and instead of Brad getting it, Young Hightower was the proud recipient of most of the beer.
A young hipster girl all of about 22 got some off-spray from a can I threw at Loudass's chest, and she stormed away muttering something about 'macho bullshit'.
She stole my heart, that one did.
Anyway, as the sun set, we wound down at Kathleen's house amidst her collection of steeds;
It was a good day, and much like Ice Cube, I didn't even have to use my A.K.
I'd also like to mention that ifin you wanna take a peak at way more photos of Sunday's race, I'll go ahead and present to you Skott Pawz Flickr page.
Then finally, here's one more item of great importance that we give thanks for the oppritunity to have given something to.
See? It's all come full circle, and only on about 45 minutes of sleep.
For the sake of getting this posted now and not wasting any more time, I'm going to wrap it up and bid you all a very happy Monday.
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