I trust that you, dear readership of The Bummer Life, will take this new skill out into the world with you and keep us abreast of your progress.

This next item has been sent to me within the last few weeks no less than 35 times, and I figured since Id put it up before, that I would keep it to myself, but the emails just kept coming in, so once again, my nominee for this years Pulitzer Prize, the bacon alarm clock.

As Id mentioned before, I preformed my first and hopefully only wedding ceremony this weekend for two very dear friends of mine, and despite soul shattering nerves and a near vomit inducing set of butterflies, I pulled it off without a hitch. The organizer of the wedding even asked me if Id like to be included on the list for possible officiants for future ceremonies, to which I flatly responded, 'oh heeeeeelllllllll no'.
I thought later that perhaps it wasnt because I did such a stellar job, but rather because I looked so sharp.

Anyway, at the risk of sounding totally sappy, and destroying what little street cred Im desperately clutching onto, probably the highlight of the evening for me was making the acquaintance of a new friend;

Anyhow, I was just sitting there, on account of the fact that my shoes were killing me;

and with a fearlessness that three years olds generally dont have, she just climbed aboard and fell fast asleep.
And really, to that end, had I been able to find a lap big enough to accommodate me, I very likely would have assumed the same position.

As active as The Skipper is about keeping me tuned in to all relevant cultural happenings, he didnt disappoint with this breaking news of the recent Soundgarden reunion.

So, youre aware of Manifesto Bicycles in Oakland. Ive talked about them a bunch. Well, the last time I was in there, Sam told me about this cat that had just come in and thrown some ape hangers on his Folsom. This I had to see.

Brilliant. All the rest of their random builds and shiny, happy customers faces can be found on their Flickr page.

Our friend Troy recently got ahold of us with some very cool, and environmentally concious news;

"Greetings all,

I'm pleased to formally announce BIO-LUBE's partnership with the Phil Wood & Co! Actually we've been involved for more than a year now carefully redeveloping BIO-LUBE's future and hatching some other bright ideas.

Phil Wood is now selling BIO-LUBE to individuals via their website.. Please also look for Phil BIO-LUBE at the 2008 Interbike International Bike Expo. Thank you for your support and interest along the way,

Troy Boone
Founder - BIO-LUBE"

Troys plan to take over the world bit by bit looks to be moving along splendidly.

And while were on the topic of world domination, The Monk gave us a shout to clue us in on that somethings thats near and dear to our hearts;

"Thought you may be interested in this race on Aug 23rd.

Bikes+666+Pig Roast=Awesome.

Stay Rad,

Monk"

Like Ive said before, that is almost enough to bring me out of retirement. And like Sov says, "I dont race because racism is wrong."
Or something like that.

However, with that upcoming Worlds thing just around the corner, a temporary lapse in my retiredmentness looks to be just what the doctor ordered, though theres not a single person gonna be racing that needs to keep an eye peeled for me.
After months of injury and a huge lack of time spent on the dirt, Im afraid the only one Im going to be putting the smack down on will be me.
And believe me, I will be kicking the ever loving crap out of myself.

I spoke with GenO on the telephone the other night and he asked me what gear I will be running. Seeing as Ive never run anything other than an 18 anywhere Ive ever ridden OR raced, with the exception of the one time when I accidentally ran a 16 at Sea Otter on a cross bike (which by the way, Im not ashamed to admit very nearly killed me) I told him that I guessed Id be running the 18.
When he said hed be using a 20, the monkey wrench was thrown right into my plan.

Now I feel as though I might need to re-strategize.

And there I was thinking that the new bar ends I got was all I needed to carry me away from to agony of defeat.

At least I still have my Surly bars with the comfy 20 degree bend and 666mm width, which really, when you get right down to it, is all that matters.

With all of this being said, the only natural conclusion that I can arrive at is that single speed mountain bikes are as stupid today as they were the first time I threw a leg over one some 13 years ago.

Now then, we here at Swobo have been blessed to have probably the largest contingent of the largest friends in the bike world. Of course weve got Big Dave, and Sasha The Drunk Russian, Steve P and Loudass, but weve got a new friend in the ranks of bouncer sized compatriots that comes in the form of Rob Mac;

Stevil-
Pic of me in my favorite shirt. Its a XXL and fits me great- snug in chest and shoulders and a little room in the torso.

I understand that guys of my size are like 1% of the population and prolly even less of the cycling population.
But how sweet it would be if you did a limited run of jerseys that'd fit us Giant Riders. You could even sneak in some press on the Clydesdale forum on MTBR.com. See? I got all figured out.

I know. Pipe dream. Thanks for listening.
- Rob"

Once we get the biggies of our ilk outfitted in gigantor Swobo threads, were going to start a football team and take over the world.

And as a side note, I was just recollecting a time when I was in Vegas with The Russian. It should be noted that while Im not a giant like the aforementioned, I fall into around 6'1" and about a bacon waffle shy of 200 pounds. Well, The Russian has a grand appreciation for the horse play, and one night while walking down the street, with one sweep of his arm, he knocked me completely upside down and into the bushes.
Its a dangerous game to play with him, as I really dont think he has any comprehension of his stature or density, and when he gets that gleam in his eye, its best to run for the hills.

Anyhow, back to the mail bag for more unrelated silliness;

"Stevil,

Cross season upon us? You bet it is. And a few of us lanky, beer swilling, bacon devouring, ass grab’n merry pranksters in Seattle are going to ‘bring it’ at the SSCXWC this year. Last week, I received a prototype of the Horse we’ll be riding into town on to deliver the whoop’n on.

Check it if you dare.

The Bummer Life just received a Jimmy “Super Fly Snuka” style atomic elbow to the neck.

Now, will you send Chris Distefano a friendly reminder that I still need hubs for this thing? He’s tired of hearing from me.

Sally"

First of all, Chris D answers to no one, and there is no one thats more of a no one than me, so Im afraid Ill be of no help in that regard, and secondly, that bike is just f-ing sick.
You have done me proud, and if you dont absolutely get your ass handed to you in Napa on that thing, that will only serve to have done me just that much prouder.

The Soil Saloon is rearing its ugly head again;

"No more high noon. This here is a race in the afternoon twilight, with ruckus a plenty, smiles galore and a fine load of shenanigans.

So if you please, oh web master of this famous and wondrous corner of the blogosphereowebzone, would you mind letting people know there's another soil saloon coming?

-d
aka
24elsinore"

Not only wouldnt I mind, but it would be an honor.

Alright, as hard as it might be to believe, Im still experiencing the swerve from the weekends festivities, so Im gonna sign off so as to not subject you to anymore of this nonsense.

In closing, our friend MaLora Ann emailed me and jokingly chided me for using a photo of her on Friday that according to her, was possibly the dorkiest one I could have picked..
I told her that I liked it and that I thought it made he look kinda bookish and sweet, but since Im all too aware of the fact that shes not all sugar and spice, I thought it only fair to include a photo of her alter ego;

Yeah... I know.

Oh yeah, I also stole this weeks header photo from Curtis's Flickr page. If youd like to look at more shots, then all you gotta do is do it.

Happy Monday everybody.